'Social' Occasionally

The awkwardness of social situations never fails to surpass me unnoticed, when people you barely know, but have been flung together with at the wish, and likely great amusement, of the host, pry into the details of your life on the back of their extreme drunkenness. A question which, for many may seem par for the course of life in general, can reduce a few to mumbled explanations of their distinct lack of a life. One seems almost expected to respond with rank and number when asked this question, and a mono-syllabic answer is rarely allowed to go without being followed by further interrogation into the details of what such an occupation might involve, when surely anyone with half a brain cell can work out what it is that a ‘teacher’ does. (For those of you lacking that half-brain-cell; a teacher, teaches.) Of course such questions are easily fielded by those who actually have a job, or some purpose in life, but for those of us whose so-called ‘occupations’ are undefinable, the seemingly endless mass of questions are quite frankly daunting, especially considering they are not invited. I don’t want to have to mumble some half-arsed attempt at an answer to the question of ‘what are you doing with your life at the moment?’, especially when the answer is quite obviously ‘wasting it’. Being at the age I am (that’s 20, nearly 21) most people expect me to answer with ‘oh, I’m a student’, and believe me I was quite happy to do so, when I actually was a student; but now I have officially joined the ranks of the mumblers amongst us, my occupation, well it’s difficult to say, because I don’t have one. And then having to mumble yet further explanation as to why I lack an occupation just makes me wish the ground would swallow me whole. If you think mumbling is awkward, try telling the reems of guests that you’re mentally ill. People are apparently not prejudiced anymore but when they’re enjoying copious amounts of alcohol at another person’s expense they want to think about nothing more serious than the weather, the traffic driving over or who is the designated non-drunk. And people wonder why I rarely go in for ‘social’ occasions.
KV