Read, Pray, Love: Part Two

Following on from my post Read, Pray, Love I wanted to write something more. Since writing that post, though it wasn't actually all that long ago, I have had time to think about a great many things. I went to Brighton for a few days last week to visit some friends and my baby goddaughter. Being away from York was exactly what I needed. I spent most of my time with friends but I also took some time for me. I went running along the sea front, I read a fair bit, I read my Bible and I prayed. I feel so much better physically, mentally and emotionally for having had that time to rest and to look after myself. Starting back at Uni this week after the Christmas break and after spending that much-needed time in Brighton I feel, not only prepared, but almost buzzing for what this term and my future hold. I have rediscovered my passion and enthusiasm for life and I cannot wait to get on and do things; to live life. To love life.

My new year's resolutions include to read more, to pray more and to love more. And I have decided that as a way of keeping these particular resolutions, I am going to do a kind of series of blog posts under the umbrella title Read, Pray, Love. I've not worked out any kind of schedule for the posts or even what most of the content will be. Some, if not most, of the posts are going to be based on the books that I read. Mostly Christian or psychology books. The posts may take a kind of book review format or they may take a different form completely.

Other posts are going to be about my prayer life. I am going to try and be as honest as possible in these posts, because I don't feel that enough Christians reveal how truly vulnerable and messed up they are and I am as guilty of this as the next person. So I want to express just how messed up I can be but also to show that, I may be vulnerable, but I am no more vulnerable than anyone else; I am just, simply human.

As for the final part of the Read, Pray, Love. I'm not sure how I will reflect this part in blog posts. It's going to take time for me to work out what I'll write and it could take any form or style. But I am going to try, again, to be as honest as possible in these posts. As I wrote in the first Read, Pray, Love post, I find it difficult to trust people and to love people, so I think that this is going to be the most difficult part for me. But it's going to be an interesting journey.

You will be able to find all future Read, Pray, Love posts on the Read, Pray, Love page by clicking on the tab at the top of the blog page or by following this link: Read, Pray, Love Page.

rambles about life

it has been a rather long time since i last posted on this blog; in fact it's been around thirteen weeks. life has been rather busy in that time. i never realised just how tiring group therapy could be. i think that now, after seventeen weeks, i am getting used to the frustration and exhaustion that comes with attending therapy three and a half days a week. though it still is extremely exhausting and i have another eight months to go! some days i wonder if i'll survive another eight months of this. actually i wonder that everyday. but some of those days i am reminded of why i put myself through it. it is helping somewhat but it's a lot of hard work and i still struggle with things; especially with being challenged about certain behaviours. this week has been especially difficult and frustrating and i have left every night with a tension headache because it's been such hard work. at the moment i am what is called 'duty member'. 'duty member' is a role in the community that involves supporting other community members if they are in distress outside of therapy spaces or if they leave the therapy space for some reason during a session. as duty member for the last three weeks i have had to be there to support people emotionally but for some reason, this week, it has been especially difficult to fulfil this role.

my faith has been very important in my journey through therapy thus far as it has helped me to understand my issues better and to remain patient through my frustrations. i have been constantly praying through my therapy; praying that i can be patient and support others. i believe that this therapy has been a real blessing from God and i really can see His hand in it, though sometimes i have to remind myself of this and pray for God to keep reminding me of this and i know that i need to keep bringing it back to Him and asking for the strength to deal with everything that comes from it. as well as everything that i am learning through my therapy, i believe that i am learning a lot in my relationship with God. i have just been invited to join a small group at church which i am really excited about and the first small group that i attended this week was a real blessing for me. i also feel that the preaches in church in the last few months have been so transforming and spirit-filled for me and i am just so excited to see what He has in store for me.

today, being the first of november, is the first day of national novel writing month. i attempted this last year but did not complete it as i gave up on my novel part way through. this year i prefer my novel and so really hope that i manage to complete it. i love writing and, though it will be difficult to manage nano with my therapy, i really want to write an actual novel. i will attempt to keep this blog updated on my progress throughout the month, though i won't make any promises.

for now, i should really use my words for my nano instead of blogging. i just really felt a pull to write a blog post kind of updating how things are going in my life. i guess the basic gist of things is that life is frustrating, hard and busy at the moment but i'm actually feeling pretty positive about life at the moment. i guess therapy really is helping.